Lone Wolfs Den

Things I find stupid, objectionable, offensive and just plain wrong on the bible. Exodus 12-15

Posted by: Lone Wolf on: February 17, 2008

Exodus 12:7

7And they shall take of the blood, and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses, wherein they shall eat it.

They are too spread the blood of a dead lamb on there door. Why?

12 For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will smite all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the LORD
13 And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt.

Oh, so he know not to murder there children. Why does God want the Egyptians to suffer so? Its not like slavery was uncommon in the ancient world, hell the Israelites had slaves before they went into Egypt and after they left and God didn’t care, God has no problem with slavery. And attacking the Egyptian people wont get the Pharaoh to set the Israelites free.
“and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the LORD” The Egyptian god are real?

Exodus 12:14-24

14And this day shall be unto you for a memorial; and ye shall keep it a feast to the LORD throughout your generations; ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance for ever.

15Seven days shall ye eat unleavened bread; even the first day ye shall put away leaven out of your houses: for whosoever eateth leavened bread from the first day until the seventh day, that soul shall be cut off from Israel.

16And in the first day there shall be an holy convocation, and in the seventh day there shall be an holy convocation to you; no manner of work shall be done in them, save that which every man must eat, that only may be done of you.

17And ye shall observe the feast of unleavened bread; for in this selfsame day have I brought your armies out of the land of Egypt: therefore shall ye observe this day in your generations by an ordinance for ever.

18In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at even, ye shall eat unleavened bread, until the one and twentieth day of the month at even.

19Seven days shall there be no leaven found in your houses: for whosoever eateth that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he be a stranger, or born in the land.

20Ye shall eat nothing leavened; in all your habitations shall ye eat unleavened bread.

21Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel, and said unto them, Draw out and take you a lamb according to your families, and kill the passover.

22And ye shall take a bunch of hyssop, and dip it in the blood that is in the bason, and strike the lintel and the two side posts with the blood that is in the bason; and none of you shall go out at the door of his house until the morning.

23For the LORD will pass through to smite the Egyptians; and when he seeth the blood upon the lintel, and on the two side posts, the LORD will pass over the door, and will not suffer the destroyer to come in unto your houses to smite you.

24And ye shall observe this thing for an ordinance to thee and to thy sons for ever.

The Passover celebration is to be observed forever. Christens, do you celebrate Passover? Didn’t think so.

Exodus 12:29-30

29And it came to pass, that at midnight the LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle.

30And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead.

And God sings: “I like to kill, I like to kill, I like to kill, I like to kill, I like to kill, I like to kill, I like to kill, I like to kill. I like to, I like to, I like to Kiiiiilllllllllllllll

Exodus 12:35-36

35And the children of Israel did according to the word of Moses; and they borrowed of the Egyptians jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment:

36And the LORD gave the people favour in the sight of the Egyptians, so that they lent unto them such things as they required. And they spoiled the Egyptians.

And the Israelites stole from the Egyptians as they left.

Exodus 12:37

37 And the children of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand on foot that were men, beside children.

600,000 men, that means millions left Egypt and wanderd in the desert for 40 years. Such a huge number of people would have left a huge footprint but that footprint has not been found. Can the desert suport that many people, i think not.

Exodus 12:43-45, 48

43And the LORD said unto Moses and Aaron, This is the ordinance of the passover: There shall no stranger eat thereof:

44But every man’s servant that is bought for money, when thou hast circumcised him, then shall he eat thereof.

45A foreigner and an hired servant shall not eat thereof.

48And when a stranger shall sojourn with thee, and will keep the passover to the LORD, let all his males be circumcised, and then let him come near and keep it; and he shall be as one that is born in the land: for no uncircumcised person shall eat thereof.

No foreigner, or uncircumcised man shale eat at Passover. Why?

Exodus 13:2

2 Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is mine.

Sacrifice all your first born to God. Human sacrifice.

Exodus 13:12-15

12That thou shalt set apart unto the LORD all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast; the males shall be the LORD’s.

13And every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb; and if thou wilt not redeem it, then thou shalt break his neck: and all the firstborn of man among thy children shalt thou redeem.

14And it shall be when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What is this? that thou shalt say unto him, By strength of hand the LORD brought us out from Egypt, from the house of bondage:

15And it came to pass, when Pharaoh would hardly let us go, that the LORD slew all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man, and the firstborn of beast: therefore I sacrifice to the LORD all that openeth the matrix, being males; but all the firstborn of my children I redeem.

You must sacrifice animals during Passover. Jews, do you sacrifice animals for passover? Didn’t think so. Christens, oh thats right, you don’t celebrate Passover even though the bible tells you to.

Exodus 14:4

4 And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, that he shall follow after them; and I will be honoured upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host; that the Egyptians may know that I am the LORD. And they did so

God hardens the Pharaohs heart again.

Exodus 14:7

7And he took six hundred chosen chariots, and all the chariots of Egypt, and captains over every one of them.

Cause God hardened the Pharaohs heart the Pharaoh takes 600 chariots and goes after the Israelites.
Wait! Didn’t God kill all the live stock in Egypt?

Exodus 14:17-18

17And I, behold, I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they shall follow them: and I will get me honour upon Pharaoh, and upon all his host, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen.

18And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten me honour upon Pharaoh, upon his chariots, and upon his horsemen.

God hardens the hearts of the Egyptions so that he will get “honer upon the Pearaoh, chariots and upon his horsemen”

Exodus 14:27-28

27And Moses stretched forth his hand over the sea, and the sea returned to his strength when the morning appeared; and the Egyptians fled against it; and the LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea.

28And the waters returned, and covered the chariots, and the horsemen, and all the host of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them; there remained not so much as one of them.

God kills the Egyptian army, an army that would not have gone after the Israelites if God had not hardened the Pharaohs heart.

Exodus 15:3

3 The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

Realy, thats hard to believe. After all its not like he has killed anybody. Right?

Exodus 15:1, 3

1 Then sang Moses and the children of Israel this song unto the LORD, and spake, saying, I will sing unto the LORD, for he hath triumphed gloriously: the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea.

4 Pharaoh’s chariots and his host hath he cast into the sea: his chosen captains also are drowned in the Red sea.

We know there dead, why does the bible repeat it, its like the writers loved writing about how people died, like they enjoyed it.

Exodus 15:6-12

6Thy right hand, O LORD, is become glorious in power: thy right hand, O LORD, hath dashed in pieces the enemy.

7And in the greatness of thine excellency thou hast overthrown them that rose up against thee: thou sentest forth thy wrath, which consumed them as stubble.

8And with the blast of thy nostrils the waters were gathered together, the floods stood upright as an heap, and the depths were congealed in the heart of the sea.

9The enemy said, I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; my lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them.

10Thou didst blow with thy wind, the sea covered them: they sank as lead in the mighty waters.

11Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?

12Thou stretchedst out thy right hand, the earth swallowed them.

God really enjoys killing people. God is a psychopath. I’m glad he doesn’t really exist.

Exodus 15:7

11 Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?

Lord among gods? Theres more than him? Your bible says it. Theres more than 1 god.

Exodus 15:19

19 For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, and the LORD brought again the waters of the sea upon them; but the children of Israel went on dry land in the midst of the sea.

Reveling in his murders.

Exodus 15:25

25 And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them,

Mosses throws a tree into the water and god makes it sweet?

Exodus 15:26

26 And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

If you do as God tells you he will not send his diseases on you but if you don’t he will send his diseases on you. How caring, good and just God is.
“and keep all his statutes” Idolatry for God.

If the first 15 chapters of Exodus does not show you how cruel, evil and blood thirsty the God of the old testament it, you need professional psychiatric help.

3 Responses to "Things I find stupid, objectionable, offensive and just plain wrong on the bible. Exodus 12-15"

The Passover celebration is to be observed forever. Christens, do you celebrate Passover? Didn’t think so.

I worked with a guy who asked that in catholic school. The nuns were not amused.

You must sacrifice animals during Passover. Jews, do you sacrifice animals for passover?

Being brought up mildly religious and Jewish, the answer is yes, although not personally. There is a burnt leg of lamb on the passover seder plate as the burnt offering. And, since a lamb must be killed to get a shank, yup.

Lord among gods? Theres more than him? Your bible says it. Theres more than 1 god.

Absofuckinglutely there are more than one. It says so in the ten commandments. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” NOT “There are no other gods.” Why waste four out of ten commandments on asserting god’s place as the top god if there are no other gods?

Of course, The Onion has it nailed perfectly again.

An Open Relationship With The Lord

From the article:

The Lord my God is a jealous God, and He didn’t like the idea at first. He made it very clear that I should take no God before Him—but he never mentioned anything about taking one after Him!

Visit this website, maybe it can help – http://www.bibleanswer.com/animalsac.htm

No there are no other gods. There is only one and He is God. When he says not to have any other gods, He does not mean that there are other gods out there that are as real and living as He is. It just means do not make anything else your god, by worshiping it (an idol). Like when the people worshiped Baal. (and then they got owned.)

Th bible disagrees when them. Read it and think about what it says.

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