Things I find stupid, objectionable, offensive and just plain wrong on the bible. Genesis 26-30
Part 6 of my 6 million part series on things I find stupid, objectionable, offensive and just plain wrong on the bible.
And there was a famine in the land, beside the first famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went unto Abimelech king of the Philistines unto Gerar.
Again, the Philistines didn’t appear till long after Abraham’s time.
7 And the men of the place asked him of his wife; and he said, She is my sister: for he feared to say, She is my wife; lest, said he, the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah; because she was fair to look upon.
8 And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.
Again with this? “Oh no, foreigner! Say your my sister for they will kill me to get you!” Right.
12 Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the LORD blessed him.
13 And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very great:
14 For he had possession of flocks, and possession of herds, and great store of servants: and the Philistines envied him.
And the Lord blessed him with many slaves.
And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:
More polygamy.
Genesis 27, the whole chapters
Just click the link. Its too big to quote.
A story about how Jacob gets Isaac’s blessing by deceiving his father into thinking that he was his brother.
And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.
Why? Whats wrong with the Canaanits.
hen went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.
Wasn’t he already married? To 2 woman?
10 And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran.
11 And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep.
12 And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.
13 And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed;
14 And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed.
Wait a minute, Jacob steels Esaus blessing by deceiving his father and God says it Jacobs sees that spread across the earth? Oh I get it, God likes bad people.
And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
So woman are slaves?
21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
24 And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.
25 And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
Wait! Jacob supposedly love Rachel yet he can’t tell the difference between Rachel and Leah?
And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
More polygamy. Doesn’t God dislike that? It doesn’t seem so.
And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
Wait! Jacob hated Leah (after she and her father deceived him into marrying her (thus he had good reason to hate her)) so God make Rachel infertile.
More evidence God like bad people.
32 And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.
33 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon.
34 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi.
35 And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.
She thinks she could by his love with children? Is that woman are worth in the bible.
And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.
Is that all purpose of woman in the bible, to breed?
She suffers cause God like bad people.
And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?
He’s angry at her cause of something beyond her control?
3 And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her.
4 And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her.
5 And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son.
“Bilhah! Get in here! I can’t conceive so you have to conceive for me.” And of course, she’s a slave and didn’t have a choice.
When Leah saw that she had left bearing, she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife.
“Screw my maid to, screw my maid to! You screwed hers.” Aperantly that’s all woman are worth in the bible.
And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.
So God stops punishing an innocent woman cause her husband hates his other wife for deceiving him into marrying her.
37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chesnut tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38 And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39 And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.
What? That’s not how it works.
At first I read parts of the bible because I felt ignorant criticising issues while doing little research. But now, the more I read the more critical I become.
As you mentioned, how could slavery ever be acceptable? God wiped out all people except Noah’s family, whose job it was to populate the earth.
God said that if any human killed another human, they themselves would be killed since all humans are modelled on god.
Since all of these slaves and servants* were of Noah’s bloodline and were modelled on god, how could that be justified?
*servants seem to be slaves – Hagar had to sleep with Abram as it was Sarai’s wish
You guys are all stupid, therefore wrong. Before you even begin to criticize something, find out what’s behind it. Research it, think about the big picture, ask people who could give you insight. You pick out verses that you don’t like or don’t get, why not read the chapters around it first?
Wow, an ad hominem and a genetic fallacy in one sentence.
We are talking about the bible here. It says what it says. Its not written in code, its not metaphor its not allegory. It says what it says.
Oh I get them, thats why I don’t like them. The problem is the bible is full of things I don’t like. By the way did you the title? “Things I find stupid, objectionable, offensive and just plain wrong on the bible.”
I did, thats how I found them. I’ve read the bible, thats why I don’t l like it. Read the bible for your self. Its full of murder, slavery, sexism, atrocities things that are just plain wrong, historical inaccuracy’s, scientific inaccuracy’s.
Your arguments are fallacious and you are wrong.
You notice how I didn’t call you any name or sat that you lack intelligence? Thats called being polite.
Actually the Bible does have metaphors and allegories. I understand that the Bible can be difficult to interpret, and many times it is misinterpreted, that is why I suggested buying a study Bible or maybe attending a Bible Study. I attend a few myself and I must say, they can open your eyes.
Lone Wolf,
I would like to point out that just because certain things are recorded about people in the Bible like polygamy, slavery, etc…doesn’t mean that God put his stamp of approval on it. You get the good and the bad about the people in the Bible. The reason their mistakes, sins, bad choices are recorded, is to show us that these people were no better than any of the rest of us, that we are all sinners. Then, you see the life of Jesus Christ and how he is the only person to ever live a perfect life worthy of dying on the cross to accept the penalty of all the sins of the world, past, present, and future.
You say that you’ve read the Bible and that’s why you don’t like it. However, you didn’t even correctly comprehend the verse you quoted above, Gen. 29:18 “And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.” If anything, Jacob would be the slave, not Rachel. So, your comment “So women are slaves?” doesn’t even correspond.
Wow! This must be comprehension at its best.
Before you make judgments on scripture, you need to make sure you comprehend what is being said.
So the bible dose not say what it says? Its not written in code and through out the bible woman are treated as property, as slaves.
Lone Wolf,
I didn’t say anything about the Bible “Not saying what it says”. I was just pointing out that you did not comprehend what the verse said. Simply put, you didn’t understand what you were reading.
Their meaning is plain, I comprehend it fine. The meanings are clear in the text. They are not written n code. It says what it says you just don’t like what it says.
If 1 out of 5 pregnancies is a miscarriage , then does not that meen GoD is the biggest Abortion Dr. of all time!